To Where You Are

I’m listening to Josh Groban’s “To Where You Are”.

It is sometimes scary to be away for so long. When I am back, there will be a double helix bridge, two resorts… also I’ll be without a grandmother. I’m not particularly close to my grandmother and I have always wondered how she was like when she was young. I remember I was quite young when my grandfather passed away — I was probably about eleven years old. There was once during the wake, there were only two of us in the garden. She came to me, smiling with tears in her eyes, “Grandpa is really gone.” in Mandarin. I was too young to identify the emotions. It must have been very painful for her then. My only consolation or rather reaction was to burst into tears.

I’m very sad that I’m not there for my family now; for my mother who sounded very calm, maybe only in a bid to not let me worry; for my aunts and uncles who have always fondly chastised my grandmother; for me who never really got to know my grandmother.