the mad hatter

that’s how i feel I am, for the past two weeks.

there was the new year get-together with a couple of friends that catapulted me into the new year. Hilarious, when I thought of the stuff I could remember.

i painted a pillar too with my dear friend, small eyes. A group of friends came to support small eyes and help us paint when I was in class. Here is our final piece of art:

 

Our point of painting was to simply leave our marks in our LAST SEMESTER (assuming nothing goes wrong) in SMU. It was nothing fancy. We also didn’t rally people to vote for our pillar on Facebook and so on, but apparently the organiser told us that quite a number of people voted for our pillar. so, yay!

there was the performance with orchestra of music makers at esplanade. it was nice singing with the juniors and of course, for the orchestra.

Then there was the competition that left me high and dry. Being in school till 6 am in Week 2 is kind of a special… milestone? I chanced upon a photo I took with a little girl just before I went for exchange. I looked so bloody young.

Let’s see how the presentation goes. (: I am contented to take a tiny, little break from it for now.

 

i am thinking about whether to change my laptop. It is such an awkward timing and it is definitely not helping that a new Macbook Pro is speculated to be launched sometime this June. Looks like I can put my “Managerial Decision-Making” (a module i am taking now) skills into use.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Don’t believe them. The world may be real for them, but it doesn’t mean you have to live in it.”

I haven’t been blog-surfing nor web-surfing. Can someone teach me please — the most organised way to catch up on your feeds or on your favourite sites? I need my doses of inspiration!

Finally, I got a day when I could “rest” and “slack” at home after the Christmas madness and boy, am I glad, my mother is out from home. Spare me from the nagging!

For a while, I had a vision of me making coffee in the office’s pantry, making (VERY SINCERE) pantry talk and making my way up or down the stairs, holding onto the hem of my dress/skirt cautiously, lest you know what happens. I maintain that that is a little major (I’m trying to be nice here) flaw in erm, the interior design. Females ought to have the right to wear what they want and not to have to show any more than reasonable care over whether someone could see their underwear. They are renovating the office during the long holiday break. Perhaps I should drop a friendly little email to highlight my very general, but very valid concern! (;

ok, maybe I’m just missing the office.

I was honestly quite moved when I received Christmas gifts from some of my favourite people in the office. I mean, I wasn’t expecting them. I felt a little embarassed that I have nothing in return to give, except a farewell card (which is quite pretty, right?)

It has been such a brief but sweet experience. As much as I wish I could extend or want to extend, I know I have to stop myself from attaching bonds all over and move on. I need the time to reorganise myself and splash some colours on my very white canvas.

Well, I did learn and that is important. I can’t thank all of them enough.  (:

To demonstrate the “feminism movement” I am all supportive for:

Source: theenglishmuse.blogspot.com and http://www.indiesart.com/artist/248-kelly-reemtsen

I love the pink one especially. Don’t mess with a woman. You don’t know what we have hidden behind us. (;

I’m also kind of skimming through this “self-improvement book” entitled “Rework” that is one of the farewell gifts from the office. I am not a fan of self-help/self-improvement books. I tend to think they are quite bs but really, this got to  be the easiest read ever for me for the longest time. Plus, contrary to my belief, it helps me get started on writing again. (;

There are cute graphics & cartoons to go along with the very succinct chapters.

A few days left before it turns 2011, I’d better get cracking!

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i’m so sentimental that being able to move on scares me.

Reading about how my friend can keep going back to her community  and how she is still very much bonded to everyone else makes me feel a little sad about my own situation. actually, i was/am fine. People move on. I think I have moved on. It scares me however how quickly I have moved on, like at the snap of my finger, all my sense of obligation, responsibility, remorse, guilt  dissolved just like that. I did not even have to try very hard. I have verbalised this to people who kind of understand, still it doesn’t help to alleviate the frustration caused by this lack of sense of belonging.  Maybe I should stop trying to grasp this disconnect and to justify for an  input/output ratio. It is after all very silly.  Maybe it is ok to let go. I don’t have to be so hard on myself.  Maybe it just cannot be quantified by the number of friends I can count on after I have left or whatever. Maybe I should just walk in the rain.

On an equally bright note, I have flung myself into work-work so early. I should have enjoyed my life as a student as much as I can, shouldn’t I?

I should stay in school till late, have tau hway suppers, go to the gym at 7 pm, hang out in the library till closing time, take part in sports fiesta/paint-a-pillar/diving/cycling.  ah, talking about that, I’m very sore about the fact that I signed up for the fitness classes way too late! ok, i’ll work hard for the last part, maybe take part in a swan-song performance (yeah, i am kind of a superstar. (; ) before I graduate.

i kind of like this weekend, but the good, control freak in me tells me that I really shouldn’t be so hedonistic, and having so much fun.

• transforming an intellectual chess game set into a verve-powered game that tests our wit, courage and justification skills (hahaha, read that, small eyes) in an Irish pub that was proven to be too boring for us with small eyes (should i change that to small something-else, according to KL’s standards?)  and KL, we can’t forget about the erm, the interesting conversations littered with subtexts that MC took a second longer to understand.
• gathering finally with my favourite arty-farty friends. we were having so many-ways-conversations that it was amusing. poor jy. people must have thought he is gay.
• catch-up with the exchange friends at holland v. seems so surreal, especially when we took a picture with the windmill at holland v. (: i think the party ends wayyyyy too early though.

this weekend of  drinking, incessant laughing and subtext, innuendos, and allow me not to kick myself for saying this — talk about job applications (Maybe I should bar myself and all my friends from talking about that whenever we are out having fun) was a harbinger to the crazy week I have ahead.

and all my novel plans which include revamping my room, starting on my scrapbook, reading tons of books  for this week go right into the bin at this very juncture.

which flavour are you?

You probably have to be like plain vanilla in the beginning. And then maybe you can reveal yourself flavour by flavour. You can’t go in on the first day and say hi, I’m chocolate fudge brownie with strawberry bits.

- Rynthemean

Which flavour are you

She is so quote-worthy. I feel much more relieved after hearing that from her. It is really amusing, I think. I don’t really have any problems speaking up in class, talking to strangers, befriending people of other nationalities, etc but when it comes to situations like these, I tend to shrivel up a little. I wish I have a bit of Em or Col in me now. They are the best and they can get away with it without sounding overly pushy.

the definition of me.

Basically I don’t want to be defined by my job. Pinning all your hopes on one area of life only means the landing is harder when you crash.

- Red Rapture

Yes, yes. I must remember this and instill it into my mind.

• Banker=Boring, Marketer=Fluff, PR=Bitchy, Lawyer=Despicable (Quoting a friend of mine who is a law student and has interned in several reputable law firms)
• Connected 24/7, constantly checking emails on your Iphone and Blackberry
• Good starting pay=you’re already a success

I was quite happy initially when May said a few times during the trip, “I think you’ll love this.”, “I shall write now the names of some artists and their songs. I think you’ll like them.” etc. I mean, I am still happy of course that she is very willing to share with me and she has an inkling of her new friend (i.e.)’s interests but there was one day when I thought about it and wondered, “Am I that predictable???”

i want to run a business too.

Life at the company was slightly dreary today. On top of my cramps and grouchiness, my intern friends were all out basking under the sun at Batam! ok, maybe at this juncture, they’re dead drunk in the hotel room, their ruddy cheeks illuminated by the moonlight streaming in.

Everyone else in the office was asking me, “eh, you didn’t go with them?”

No, I didn’t. Mr Untrustworthy called to gloat when they were about to board the ferry. He also hit the nail on the head about me not having any lunch buddy today. I was thrown the possibility of joining them on Friday, but to keep myself awake and sane and for me to survive my weekend, i had already long decided not to succumb. (:

so there was this mega event last weekend and the most fun and enlightening part was stacking the goods on the shelves. I never never knew that merchandising is such an art. We were actually quite sheepish  when the experienced merchandisers came over, assessed our masterpiece and kind of did some rearranging. haha.

oh and when I heard the tips and experience shared by a brand manager who had been through different aspects of the business, I was like, “I must tell Phyl!” (:

I love his mantra – “I have a business to run.”

I think I will be quite sad to leave this place.

see, i'm so shy.

 

$20 freedom

Squandered $20 for a day of freedom oh and probably some humour from the doctor.  I was really quite tickled by him. I bet he’s a closet actor. I know, I can tell the signs. (;

My sister is egging me on to extend my sick leave and make full use of the $20 to finish my backlog of work. Though it seems tempting, I am a good girl! If I feel better, I will get cracking! Kind of miss the place and oh, tmr’s fruits day. I hope it’s apple. PLEASE.

a smell tells it all.

Work shouldn’t have any impact on my writing habits but it did. This place has been getting a little too quiet and still for my liking! So, yes, I am working now. Interning, to be exact. This might sound a little geeky but all the case studies scenarios, discussions I had in my Management of People at Work class came into existence — in real life. Those snippets of “drama”  would be playing my head and I find myself pondering for a few seconds more to ensure that I don’t follow the footsteps of those wretched men.

I will continue to share my tale as a ____ intern another day. The main character of this entry is really this:

Ideally that is how the book cover design should look like. After an intensive but futile search for the book (started in Borders on last Saturday), when I finally found the book that was published in an uglier version yesterday, I was seriously considering putting off the purchase. My red, supposedly new, half-broken heels screamed out to me and I guess, my feet too.

NO. You can’t do this. Definitely not after walking miles and miles.

(the distance between the orchard MRT station and kino taka)

So I succumbed,  however I would still wrinkle my nose in notable distaste whenever I stared a little longer than I should at the cover.

I thought the first part  of the excerpt is already quite meaningful. The author ended it with a punch that left me in awe.

Once Uncle Julian told me how the sculptor and painter Albert Giacometti said that sometimes just to paint a head, you have to give up a whole figure. To paint a leaf, you have to sacrifice the whole landscape. It might seem like you’re limiting yourself at first, but after a while you realise that having a quarter-of-an-inch of something you have a better chance of holding on to a certain feeling of the whole universe than if you pretended to be doing up the whole sky.

My mother did not choose a leaf or head. She chose my father, and to hold on to a certain feeling, she sacrificed the world.

yes, I am smelling the book again, quite instinctively.

Definitely a good-book smell.

interlinked.

now I feel pumped up and excited and overwhelmed. (: I also feel this sudden desire to do Victoria Chorale’s marketing and PR work. I love sometimes how all my “work” is interlinked or how I connect them and transfer knowledge learnt from one arena, modify it and implement into a different arena. It is not just hard facts or information or techniques even. It could be simply an inspiring experience that I believe is worth sharing with the uninitiated. well, I guess, I am just adding to the galore of unwritten emails that I have to write! They are just accummulating and accummulating…