why i write

via: songofstyle.blogspot.com

 

Are you ready for the seaside holiday/retreat/escapade/getaway, girls? I’m excited for any kind of holiday. Work hard now, babe. Earn it. Own it.

 

***

“A half-read book is a half-finished love affair.”

— David Mitchell (Cloud Atlas)

David Mitchell… he sounds very familiar. Perhaps I’ve read one of his works (a short story, maybe? a poem?) before.

I think that’s what I do.

I haven’t finished a book for the longest time.

Maybe it is time to finally put my heart and soul to doing so. (:

***

 

I knew that I had a facility with words and a power of facing unpleasant facts, and I felt that this created a sort of private world in which I could get my own back for my failure in everyday life.

- “Why I write”, George Orwell

In a response to my friend’s quote from “Why I Write” by Simon Dudek, I will like to share an essay also entitled “Why I Write” penned by one of the greatest novelists in the world.  It gives good contrast to the Dudek’s excerpt I read on my friend’s blog. Nothing superfluous; nothing romantic. However, if you pare down to the essence, all writers have the same reason (almost).

 

 

 

 

…oh, yes! hello, 2011 (:

I wish I could say it was a whirlwind romance. It did feel like it — the first few days of 2011. I am a woman of rituals and traditions (ok, sometimes, I am more prominently so) so it is only proper to close the chapter. I thought the transition from 2010 to 2011 was too swift for my liking, honestly.

 

I remember one chilly day in Rotterdam, I went for a jog from my apartment to my favourite lakeside park. (One of the two times I bothered to run.)

I sat on a bench and huddled to myself and just watched the passing families, couples and friends. It was very, very cold — so cold that I could feel the sharp pangs. i don’t know whether i had written at that juncture about my strange, overwhelming emotions. I thought the whole world could just spin past me if it tried hard enough.  Even if that capsule of loneliness was bleak at the very least and was pretty hard to swallow,  I didn’t mind because that was what 2010 was about — the many moments that encapsulated so perfectly my memories of the places and the people, there had to be a few that were not so pleasant. I have started thinking and acting and living in moments, not framed by years or lists and tables and goals and bull’s eyes.

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Pictures from my trips in Croatia and Ireland

it could be the walk that ryn and I took down this small bridge, where we could see fancy modern architecture on our right (insert street name. it is opposite blaak market) right down to the main river. She picked a dandelion and told me about the dandelion clock story. I was amused. I think I could remember her fingers on the dandelion.

it could be the day when derek, michelle and i were stranded on the lift lobby  of the first apartment i stayed in Rotterdam. it was freezing but derek who seemed to be fascinated with the snow kept sneaking outdoors to take photos of the snow and the swans and he made a very mysterious call which michelle and i cheekily teased him about. I know it is weird, but I think I could smell the place.

it could be the day when mc and I were sitting on the bed in our hotel room in Lyon and when we were on the train that was going to take us from Avignon to Aix En Provence. In the hotel room, she asked me, “is there anyone you could trust?” and we talked about our families and our aspirations. I remember her slightly demanding but firm voice, “Talk to me. Don’t stone.” when we were waiting for the band to start playing in Nice. after that, we danced till like there was no tomorrow.

or… one of the moments could be

in the salt cave in Poland, where we gamely licked the walls of the cave. we burst into laughter and I think for a moment, we probably all  wondered how it would be like really to have our weddings held in the cave several feet down from earth. small eyes and i sang a1 songs and giggled like young teenage girls who were besotted with a boy we assumed to be Portuguese. we were literally cavorting in Schonbrunn Palace in Austria. (he was really cute!)

so, 2010 was great – it was about losing myself and rediscovering myself, meeting strangers and knowing people who matter better.  If 2010 is a mosaic patterned art, then 2011 is going to be a great, starchy white piece of canvas, proclaiming to the world invitingly, “Come, colour me.”

This is going to be an interactive art installation.

“Don’t believe them. The world may be real for them, but it doesn’t mean you have to live in it.”

I haven’t been blog-surfing nor web-surfing. Can someone teach me please — the most organised way to catch up on your feeds or on your favourite sites? I need my doses of inspiration!

Finally, I got a day when I could “rest” and “slack” at home after the Christmas madness and boy, am I glad, my mother is out from home. Spare me from the nagging!

For a while, I had a vision of me making coffee in the office’s pantry, making (VERY SINCERE) pantry talk and making my way up or down the stairs, holding onto the hem of my dress/skirt cautiously, lest you know what happens. I maintain that that is a little major (I’m trying to be nice here) flaw in erm, the interior design. Females ought to have the right to wear what they want and not to have to show any more than reasonable care over whether someone could see their underwear. They are renovating the office during the long holiday break. Perhaps I should drop a friendly little email to highlight my very general, but very valid concern! (;

ok, maybe I’m just missing the office.

I was honestly quite moved when I received Christmas gifts from some of my favourite people in the office. I mean, I wasn’t expecting them. I felt a little embarassed that I have nothing in return to give, except a farewell card (which is quite pretty, right?)

It has been such a brief but sweet experience. As much as I wish I could extend or want to extend, I know I have to stop myself from attaching bonds all over and move on. I need the time to reorganise myself and splash some colours on my very white canvas.

Well, I did learn and that is important. I can’t thank all of them enough.  (:

To demonstrate the “feminism movement” I am all supportive for:

Source: theenglishmuse.blogspot.com and http://www.indiesart.com/artist/248-kelly-reemtsen

I love the pink one especially. Don’t mess with a woman. You don’t know what we have hidden behind us. (;

I’m also kind of skimming through this “self-improvement book” entitled “Rework” that is one of the farewell gifts from the office. I am not a fan of self-help/self-improvement books. I tend to think they are quite bs but really, this got to  be the easiest read ever for me for the longest time. Plus, contrary to my belief, it helps me get started on writing again. (;

There are cute graphics & cartoons to go along with the very succinct chapters.

A few days left before it turns 2011, I’d better get cracking!

Autumn of the Heart

It was raining today and then I saw these photos. I was thinking, yes this must it. I am in the middle of Fall. I am (over) stretching my imagination a little.

Such a surreal glow. Maybe Autumn/Fall will be my favourite season. I am in love with the styling, the mood, the setting and the clothes. I know on one of the sweltering hot summer days about three months ago, I was standing right in the middle of a deserted, quiet road in Croatia, adorned in less fancy clothes, but still surrounded by lavenders that were overlooking a boundless body of deep blue.

I shall upload and share these photos and experiences soon, maybe tomorrow.

Mustard, sandy-brown, cream colours with distinct bright dashes of bold red or green.  Winding roads, cerulean sea, wild flowers. Footloose and fancy free.

And I am a little… hungry.

 

Need vs Wants

I have strayed away from doing my part of the report to blog-surfing to blogging. I have never been a very patient person. Mindless blog-surfing (especially strangers and when I have no absolute need to) and scrolling through images after images sometimes makes me feel aimless and…uninspired?

To sum up my state of mind, needs and wants:

A) A hearty and healthy breakfast

I am looking forward to have brunch with the N. bunch and the sops and have a long, long conversation.  The last brunch/tea I had with Eve & JJ was so awesome. Well, the N. bunch always ends up sharing raunchy stuff, but hey, it is part of life. (;

B) Dance on a Bar-top decked in heels and headpiece and white dress

ok, maybe bar-top is the wrong word or the wrong place. but she looks absolutely gorgeous with her sheepish smile and the cascading locks. Did I tell you that I have fallen in love with cascading locks again? Am I ready for another make-over. Stay tuned.

C) Decorate my room and embellish it with postcards and photos from all over the world!

This —  I really want to get the ball rolling.

E) Get my other blog up and running – it is going to revolve around story-telling! That’s all I know.

F) Pack my bag and go! The wanderlust in me is all geared up.

and… G) take tons of pictures!

 

and go to sleep and wake up early in the morning to do my work. This is a need. The rest stated above are all wants, wishes and fantasies.

 

I’m incredibly restless today. With a daunting but interesting task at hand and my thoughts  vacillating from conceptualising a new blog that I really want to set up (set up already with no posts – i want it to be fun and insightful at the same time!) and finding out about alpha consumers, I have a hard time focusing. (;

oh no, side-note: I don’t want to be an intern that everyone will say, “I’ve never spoken to her before!” It is a little cruel that people will only stop to try to reflect on who you actually are (probably not what you did) when you are leaving.  hey, it goes both ways, doesn’t it? (: blah.  I hope people don’t have to try too hard to remember when writing a message when I leave. blah. This brings me to my slight sense of injustice when I heard the word, “shy”. blah.  (; but hey, sometimes i like being “shy”.

today is a day of blahness. thank goodness I’m meeting Jeannette for dinner later! (:

I have always wanted a cape.

 

the celebrity couple (if only)

i just discovered this while researching stuff for work and thought i would share!
btw i think shu qi and wang lee hom make a perfect chinese couple. <3

via ji3n.livejournal.com

So recently J-momo and I have been doing research in the same arena.  If you do not know yet, one of the very few Chinese pop musicians that I really admire is no other than Wang Lee Hom. Although many fans protested in fury when the rumour of  Lee Hom and Shuqi were dating broke, I thought they make such a perfect-looking couple.  How can they not be?  I think Shuqi has this special quality about her — she looks the most gorgeous when she is mobile; like when she is walking. She has this… air in her hair.  (;

Furthermore, there were so many degrading remarks about her being not good enough for him, I can’t comment much on that,  (haha, I can call them later to find out), but hey, in terms of looks and their cultural identities, i think they make a perfect match.  I wish I am a brand manager of something (luxury, lifestyle maybe?) , I will totally select both of them as ambassadors to endorse a brand together.

Check these out:

There was also a period of time when J-momo and I decided that Tang Wei and Lee Hom make quite a good-looking couple too.

It could be that exquisite combination of  that conventional Asian beauty juxtaposed with a contemporary Pan-Asian demeanour.  What do you think?

I think it sells like steamy, hot pancakes.

Waiting/Lounging/Racing/Finding

I could have gone home early today but i didn’t.

I didn’t because the only thing i could think about was that i wanted to see you and the only instance whereby i could conceive this happening- where i might get a chance to see you- was if you decided to take the train home and we would happen to cross paths. So i stood in front of the train station tonight, waiting like some kind of fool. Fool because i didnt even know what i was waiting for. For you to come down the escalator? To see you? Would we even speak? I didn’t even know if you were in the city today. I didnt know if you would even take the train if by some chance you were in the city. For all i knew you could have been at home or anywhere else for that matter. So i stood like a prize idiot, waiting there by myself. Not even knowing what i was waiting for.

– Unknown via http://leloveimage.blogspot.com/2010/08/chance-to-see-you.html

That applies to all aspects of my life at the moment. I wish I wouldn’t doubt for a second. This time round, it is not going to be a race/tussle with the others, but with myself.

via inbugsdrawers.blogspot.com

I can’t quite forget the feeling of lounging in my bed, with the crack of sunlight shining in as the morning wintry breeze started seeping in, sparing no mercy for my already chapped lips.  I pulled the Ikea quilt closer to myself. And as I did so,  I caught a glance of that glass of leftover wine still resting so placidly on my desk. I smiled and thought to myself, “Another five minutes…”

which flavour are you?

You probably have to be like plain vanilla in the beginning. And then maybe you can reveal yourself flavour by flavour. You can’t go in on the first day and say hi, I’m chocolate fudge brownie with strawberry bits.

- Rynthemean

Which flavour are you

She is so quote-worthy. I feel much more relieved after hearing that from her. It is really amusing, I think. I don’t really have any problems speaking up in class, talking to strangers, befriending people of other nationalities, etc but when it comes to situations like these, I tend to shrivel up a little. I wish I have a bit of Em or Col in me now. They are the best and they can get away with it without sounding overly pushy.

Happy Birthday!

This year, I almost forgot my own birthday. This hardly happens because I am someone who values the celebration of my existence (hahaha) and this will also be the day when I’ll love to spend with people whom matter.

It wasn’t a beautiful birthday but I’ve learnt that as much as I am a frill-less person and as what a friend said, a “flash” person, I’ll still love to feel special on my special day. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. Just a lunch/dinner or a card or sincere wishes or quality time — they could all make me feel very blessed. Well, this year for my birthday, I had a bloody, bruised toenail as a birthday gift!