I last blogged on April 14. How is that even possible? Nothing much has happened except that I came back from Bali with many scars (damn those mosquitos and bugs!)  I have also found myself more connected to the Singapore politics than some of my Singaporean friends (I think acting in Animal Farm plays a huge role in my political awakening) and at times, when caught in the feverish enthusiasm, I will pause and wonder, why do I even care?

I am not Singaporean!

Well,  I once naively believed the fairytale and defended the system. I remember the astonishment my American roommate had towards how our political system works. She came home from one of her law classes and asked me, “My professor said that human rights are lacking in Singapore… You said Singapore is a cosmopolitan city. How do you reconcile that? I don’t know Singapore very well. Can you tell me more please?”

“Er… I think our ruling party will probably not change in another 50 years.”

“What?!?!”

I randomly plucked out an arbitrary number and found myself stuttering.

I thought then, how am I going to put this across without sounding like we are oppressed beings.

Early and possibly long day tomorrow.  Here is a beautiful picture to end the night.

Beautiful, win­tery bokeh by Jackie Rueda.

beyond a blink of the eye

The Time Traveller's wife

I have to admit, I am a little disappointed after watching the trailer.  It seems too corny, predictable and emits too much of the “PS-i-love-you” vibes which I absolutely abhor. do not fancy. Rachel McAdams saves the day.

The Time-Traveller’s Wife was such a good and satisfying read. sigh. I couldn’t remember much of the plot.  I love the prologue very much –

I wait for him. Each moment that I wait feels like a year, an eternity. Each moment is slow and transparent as glass. Through each moment I can see infinite moments lined up, waiting. Why has he gone where I cannot follow?”

Some have criticised her style to be melodramatic. I think I go for excesses and drama sometimes. I think we all do need that, don’t we?

Things that are stripped naked and bare — much to your chagrin, they could be so darn powerful and evasive that you might be compelled to not blink, and to not turn away. Truths could be scary.

I went for an audition out of the blue, belted out a very unpolished, raw version of a song that has been on repeat mode in my mind.

It was raw & scary but I think the director knew what I meant.

He chuckled almost hysterically after I recited the majors I am doing, “marketing and organisational behaviour and human resources…”

I was slightly, very slightly offended and baffled maybe.

He asked me a string of questions and then, towards the end of the audition, he asked, “What do you think of life in Singapore?”  he paused, “and why are you studying Business?”

I stared at him for a few seconds.

I understood his seemingly inappropriate laugh.

Instantly,  I understood– i don’t know — perhaps everything?

I am still not blinking.

the audacity of hope

The news came to me when I was in a cab rushing to school for yet another meeting. (guilty for always throwing money away on cab fares. someone, reprimand me!)

The newscaster’s voice droned on in immaculate Mandarin. “… Barack Obama becomes the 44th President elect…:”

I was very, very excited and I couldn’t wait to share with someone else, just anyone else though he or she would probably have gotten the news earlier than I had. I admit I might come across as one of those young little ignorant things who simply follow the “in” crowd, and be easily swayed and impressed by a man whose words give goosebumps and continue to resonate in your mind even after his speech comes to a close. I really would like to believe I have a strong reason for backing Obama. Of course, there is always the worry of over-promise and the importance of “actions speak louder than words” still exists. Look at how his mixed, diverse cultural identity has struck a chord with millions around the world and the discussion that has been sparked locally by his election! Is Singapore ready for a non-Chinese PM? ;)

Although some may have doubts as to whether he would be able to deliver, i believe just he becoming the 44th President-elect is an inspiration of its own.

Lately, I have been quite bothered by er, choosing my majors. Sounds silly but it’s eating my insides up. I am so fickle. I changed my mind several times. Every thing seems to interest me. ;) One moment it is marketing & finance because I aim to get my ass into McKinsey or one of those top-notch management consulting groups. Yet all of a sudden, the words — “Management Consulting” don’t seem to leave me in awe as they used to. (i can’t explain the gradual transition.) The following day, it will be marketing & corp comms because corp comms is fun. I don’t know how well I will do but it definitely can complement marketing. The flipside: I am afraid both my majors would seem too fluffy. I toyed with several other options like psychology, OBHR, etc. In the end, I am still back to Marketing & Finance.

I might be fickle during the process but I do know what I want. ;)