beyond a blink of the eye

The Time Traveller's wife

I have to admit, I am a little disappointed after watching the trailer.  It seems too corny, predictable and emits too much of the “PS-i-love-you” vibes which I absolutely abhor. do not fancy. Rachel McAdams saves the day.

The Time-Traveller’s Wife was such a good and satisfying read. sigh. I couldn’t remember much of the plot.  I love the prologue very much –

I wait for him. Each moment that I wait feels like a year, an eternity. Each moment is slow and transparent as glass. Through each moment I can see infinite moments lined up, waiting. Why has he gone where I cannot follow?”

Some have criticised her style to be melodramatic. I think I go for excesses and drama sometimes. I think we all do need that, don’t we?

Things that are stripped naked and bare — much to your chagrin, they could be so darn powerful and evasive that you might be compelled to not blink, and to not turn away. Truths could be scary.

I went for an audition out of the blue, belted out a very unpolished, raw version of a song that has been on repeat mode in my mind.

It was raw & scary but I think the director knew what I meant.

He chuckled almost hysterically after I recited the majors I am doing, “marketing and organisational behaviour and human resources…”

I was slightly, very slightly offended and baffled maybe.

He asked me a string of questions and then, towards the end of the audition, he asked, “What do you think of life in Singapore?”  he paused, “and why are you studying Business?”

I stared at him for a few seconds.

I understood his seemingly inappropriate laugh.

Instantly,  I understood– i don’t know — perhaps everything?

I am still not blinking.

ever thine, ever mine, ever ours

If I function logically, i wouldn’t be here. I will be good and concentrate on crafting my resume. I will be researching on Scandinavia and reading up on the dozens of links highlighted by my classmates and the professor. I will try my best to refrain myself from appearing like a ditzy bimbo. I will be well-informed and intellectual like what I should be. AND the last line before this just made me wonder whether I should continue penning about SEX & THE CITY and my night out with my two momos.

SEX & THE CITY is a big huge illusion. My fellow girlies, WAKE UP.

We all think we’re gonna be rich, fabulous, gorgeous, influential, married to successful Mr BigS who are wealthy in all sorts of sense you can imagine (hmmm!) and that we will also eventually sashay down Orchard Road with that I-am-up-there-you-know gleam in our eyes. Now I know why SMU girls parade down the concourse with a kind of feisty current that first seeps from their bodies & then sweeps mightily across the length and breadth of the concourse… And who can forget the clicking of their heels- an outlandish affectation of authority and clamor and adding on to that, their arms linked- as if one is not enough-they need the power of three or four more girls to electrify the rest of the world. Now I know why. It’s good practice for the future. well, come to think of it, everything we do in smu is good practice for the future.

Looking at where my entry is heading, I think I better stop writing. I can…

Option 1: Crack my head NOW at 3.30 am and write a proper email and pray hard the other party can meet me on Saturday Morning and then I won’t be slaughtered by my director. Heh.

Option 2: Sleep NOW, crack my head at 7.30 am, spend time writing a positive email, wriggle my pink suitcase out of my storeroom and attempt packing (meaning stashing some clothes inside)

Option 3: OR I can slip into my sis’s room and borrow her laptop to try playing the Grey’s Anatomy DVDs that refuse to budge on my laptop and to be a true blue romantic, i shall watch till the sun rises and let the first shaft of sunlight kisse me on my cheeks…

Right. Option 3 is tempting but today, the LOGICAL me is more domineering.

Just a random note. I realise we find bits and pieces of ourselves in the friends around us. I was telling Serene that I want to do something purposeful with them during our meet-up. She was like, “Like volunteer work?”" I nodded but asserted that I don’t want to do it for selfish reasons- you know, like on my whims and fancies. It has to be a commitment. Then I visited Sheena’s blog and I saw her entry on doing something purposeful together with your friends.

Anyway, I pick Option 2. However the problem is that it is 5 AM now which means I have only two hours left before the clock strikes 7.30 am. Hoho. (: Fabulous, goh si ying.

I had to write a short biography for the Psalm production and intrinsically, I am like that:

Goh Si Ying has just completed her first year business management studies at Singapore Management University. In her free time, she loves to people-watch in the café; invent stories about strangers and dreams about everything possible. She adores Rilke poetry and secretly wants to create this book where she can devote a chapter each to her friends, describing their idiosyncratic antics and rendezvous. She has written a few scripts, micro-fiction, and poetry in her twenty years of life so far. “A Psalm” is her take on the story of a mother and daughter teetering towards reconciliation. Si Ying envisions herself to be eventually this savvy business woman in a power suit by day and quirky, slightly unkempt writer by night.

stop being such an ELITIST!

I feel accomplished today because I have watched a great film with jien. The best sort of art really makes you ponder and question and wonder. ;)

It is through this girl; this relationship; this love that he finds himself and unleash his pent-up loneliness and fear… Each episode of ‘violence’ he asserts on her may be an awakening point for him; a re-living experience because it is likely that he has never lived genuinely with all the secrets, treacherous acts, untrusting ways his life has been entangled with… Almost every character has a story of its own and I empathise with them-the wife even. It is so terrible to live with someone, day in day out, knowing that you probably can never have access to his heart or fathom what he really is. Jien and I were very overwhelmed by the film. It is good, subtle and you know everything is significant. The ending… the same cacophony of the tai-tais gossiping, the hitting of the mahjong tiles… ironically it seems like everything will just pick up from where it has been left from the moment before the girl enters his life…  okay, I am going to stop writing about the film here. Let see what my dearest momo has written: 

 siying & i watched Lust, Caution tonight. it’s got to be one of the most powerful films ever. it lasted 2+ hours but every min of it has you prodding on for more, and at the end of the movie we were like so overwhelmed we kind of just sat there looking at each other for awhile. omg it’s so intense and full of emotions it makes your hair stand and your heart beat like crazy, i promise. even right now my head’s filled with scenes from the movie and i really wonder how the actors & actresses must have felt portraying each of the characters. and i thought the ‘eye’ thingy really sucks you into everything because you feel you’re like communicating with them as well. and and and the whole thing about time makes you have to piece the story together yourself makes it even more than just an ordinary movie. haha i only wished they didnt cut away the sex scenes, not because i am a pervert who loves to watch people at it, but because i felt the scenes were crucial to make the movie even more complete than it already is. how could they have cut it out!!! RAHH! haha. i cannot say too much even though my hands are itching to type more. i just have to say this movie has changed my mentality of asian films! really! and now i know why people aspire to be film-makers or directors, i’d want to produce a movie like this too man. haha. see, this is also why commstudies rocks! okay nvm lols. if you need a wake-up call because you feel your brain’s too saturated with school stuff or you just need to have something to ponder about, watch the movie. and the best part, there’s wang leehom. heeheehee.

I was like telling ben tan and sam how great the film is and to catch it like NOW. The former though happily boasted how he has watched R21 films without getting his ID checked is planning to wait FOUR MONTHS for the DVD. (no!) The latter (hehe) whom I convinced to watch it with good litty girlfriend/s… said something like Literature rocks. uh-oh. and I said it.

“We are so ELITIST la.”

an intentional/unintentional pun. ‘literally & metaphorically.’