Wear Sunscreen

Hi, (awkward)

This feels like a very foreign space. Oh yes, I think I am a geek at heart. I am proud to be one. I couldn’t stop smiling after reading an email from a professor. It is very assuring yet motivating.

 

“Remember, you will spend about 2,000 hours/year doing your work so take a job that will provide you with what you are looking for…”

and then he included the lyrics of this song that I have never heard of before.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

 

(:

 

Happy Birthday!

This year, I almost forgot my own birthday. This hardly happens because I am someone who values the celebration of my existence (hahaha) and this will also be the day when I’ll love to spend with people whom matter.

It wasn’t a beautiful birthday but I’ve learnt that as much as I am a frill-less person and as what a friend said, a “flash” person, I’ll still love to feel special on my special day. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. Just a lunch/dinner or a card or sincere wishes or quality time — they could all make me feel very blessed. Well, this year for my birthday, I had a bloody, bruised toenail as a birthday gift!

A mini vacation

The weekend before last, my family and I, together with my aunt and her family left for a mini-vacation at Resorts World Sentosa. (I’m so used to having vacations, how am I going to get used to work!) My aunt is really cute. She tried her best to make it up for kids and herself by doing something like buying a tin of popcorn that costs S$49 because her wish is to go for a family vacation. (the kids are still young but I think they will probably fulfill her wish end of this year)

Although there were moments when I was really bored, it was great to hmm, go drinking at an Irish pub with my mom and aunts and uncle and hear the adult talk.  (;  Of course I love playing with the kids. Those little rascals.

The next day, some of my friends joined me and we had so much being silly and “touristy”. I love this being-a-tourist-in-your-own-country feeling sometimes. It makes me feel slightly in awe of Singapore and of our fortune to be living here.  (Singaporeans, stop complaining!)

We also woke up to an interview of very lovely Katy Perry on the morning show. I was never a great fan of her but that morning, I just fell in love with her whole get-up and her effortless charm that is sprinkled with a bit of girlish mischief . oh and her bright, round, sparkling eyes. I love eyes that sparkle.  (:

Look at the headband-like braid she had. I am going to try to do that to my hair when it is long enough. I have always wanted to do it but my hands aren’t exactly made for tying things or hair. They are just not nimble enough. Just yesterday, I decided to tinkle some notes on my beloved electone that had turned a little nuts after not being played for a long time. I could still play! oh my. I feel a little sheepish about the fact that my brother who had no official training in music has superseded me in terms of his music knowledge. I mean all the terms he was using… I never really understood. I listened, I felt and I played.  I need to pay more attention to theory and techniques.  My brother practises his guitar almost everyday without fail.  I’m impressed. Maybe he can play the guitar and I can croon. Brother and Sister team. (:

Reaffirmation

I went out for brunch with two friends today. okay, if we look at it very theoretically, I really don’t know them well but I can’t really say they are acquaintances. I have only seen them maybe twice or thrice but I really like them as a person.  I felt a little envious, just a teeny weeny little bit when they talked about how one of them or some of them would go and find one another in their home nation. I guess I miss having girl-friends around and being able to rely on that kind of tight and strong support. Oh, but I really appreciate the hugs from the two girls. They felt so warm and sincere — just what I needed in times like this. (:  Hopefully we will meet again.

irresistible "brunch"

It was called “brunch” because it was Breakfast for Claudia and May but Lunch for me.  I want to go back to that cafe again. I was quite embarrassed to whip out my camera and take photos of the interior and the exterior. (“That’s so Asian!”)

However, I must say that because of the volcanic ash, I really got to know my own exchange friends and some  SMU people better. I like the camaraderie we share. Michelle and I, mostly Michelle, picked up two “homeless people” because they are from SMU and they had nowhere to stay for the night. They were really nice and bought us both an orange hat each as a thank-you gift. (Mine, by the way was stolen by an annoying guy we bumped into at the party.) So i think one other great thing about exchange is that you really get to know your friends better in a place where both parties would feel at ease. I don’t think I have many close friends that hail from SMU. I can probably count them with two hands. Exchange gives me a chance to reaffirm these friendships and also to get to know my friends and even my friends’ friends in an unfamiliar setting that is removed from stress, competition and endless (sometimes senseless) plotting.

***

When I think about how I would never see my grandmother again or she would never be able to visit us in Singapore, it is just a little too overwhelming, honestly.

To Where You Are

I’m listening to Josh Groban’s “To Where You Are”.

It is sometimes scary to be away for so long. When I am back, there will be a double helix bridge, two resorts… also I’ll be without a grandmother. I’m not particularly close to my grandmother and I have always wondered how she was like when she was young. I remember I was quite young when my grandfather passed away — I was probably about eleven years old. There was once during the wake, there were only two of us in the garden. She came to me, smiling with tears in her eyes, “Grandpa is really gone.” in Mandarin. I was too young to identify the emotions. It must have been very painful for her then. My only consolation or rather reaction was to burst into tears.

I’m very sad that I’m not there for my family now; for my mother who sounded very calm, maybe only in a bid to not let me worry; for my aunts and uncles who have always fondly chastised my grandmother; for me who never really got to know my grandmother.

because I’m a descendant.

just a quick post before I go to sleep! I saw NC carrying a diana mini in one of the chorale party’s videos, so it reminded me about something that I’ve yet done. By the way, congrats, NC, join the club! You did the right thing by splurging $90 to $100 ++ on a piece of plastic! (;

I didn’t post any pictures taken by my dear Diana mini. Here they are. These are some of my favourite photos which I have taken in China (Lijiang, Kunming and Dali). I thought the sky would be overcast most of the time like how it was in Beijing/Shanghai during winter. That area has very strong ultraviolet ray contrary to our expectations. It is weird. I dread going to China, however, after that trip to Yunnan, I think I’m falling in love with China and its rich, under-appreciated culture. I was very enraptured by the minority groups in China, their lifestyles, their art and music. I really want to go to Shangri-la!

Anyway, I took a while to adjust to using a lomographic camera. There is no “I wanna see, i wanna see” and no more peeking over the photographer’s shoulder to catch a glimpse of the portrait. The images captured would be shrouded in mystery till the minute they’re processed. I would only be able to view my pictures taken in Europe after seven months! I hope they turn out ok. I bought five rolls of really cheap, dubious-looking film, plus one roll of expensive film and I still have one roll of black-and-white film before I flew here. They should suffice!

the fruit-seller who is very popular with the Singaporean tourists

my dad!

Ranting

I pray very hard that I won’t turn out to be an annoying mother who makes the most silly and senseless comments sometimes and that I won’t raise my voice and start hurling really, really stupid accusations at my children.

You know, I love my family and my mother. But sometimes, she really gets very… irrelevant.

Mom: You drop a lot of hair. Look at your head. Can see SKIN already.

She will then attribute this “dropping hair” to my lifestyle or whatever.

(she said that about 10,000 times a day. I’m the only one with long hair in the family and I’ve checked with my friends. It’s normal to drop a lot of hair! NORMAL. And, I’ve told her many, many times. )

Then next, she would be shouting from the kitchen.

Mom: When you go overseas, you better don’t wear those revealing stuff.  Look at Fann Wong, she wore those long-sleeved tops… You have those long-sleeved tops, how come I don’t see you wearing them!

(she said in very annoying tone)

(If I’m not wrong, she was referring to this example of Fann Wong, starring in a local drama serial EONS AGO, wearing an adidas jacket in a shoot that took place in Australia.)

Can you see from above, how silly the comments and her remarks can be? And once I start logically dissecting her comments, she would get even more illogical.  First of all, I don’t even really wear very revealing stuff. and honestly, long-sleeved, thick tops and jackets in Singapore?! I wear them when I have to, not all the time! Last but not least, Fann Wong vs Me… Is she crazy?!

Then, the worst is when she is the one who starts raising her voice, and you sometimes have no choice, but to snap back at her, and then she will insist that you’re the one who starts first. So, nowadays, I would really just walk away or like not respond to her irrational and unreasonable remarks. I hate raising my voice and to feel later, to my chagrin, a certain soreness in my throat.

I will be a stern mom and probably be quite strict when it comes to values, principles and proper manners, but other than that, I will be cool and trendy and not make silly comments.

It shall not be a vicious cycle.

my godmother.

I trudged into my home, dragged my luggage in, silently grousing about my forearm pain. I was looking perfectly unglamourous with my hair tucked behind my ear in my orange fluorescent jacket over my grey tee-shirt and black shorts with a bare naked face. I smiled. There they were, my god-mother and her little granddaughter sitting on our couch, talking to my mother. After I left my bags in my room, I went back to the living room. It has not just a habit. I have developed a desire to talk to my godmother.

I sat across her next to my mom, conversing with her about my trip; about my school. Then this usually rather reserved lady who has this very brisk yet still benevolent aura around her studied me incisively and all of sudden, like a minor chord clashing with my constant, droning voice, she held my gaze, wide-eyed and started,

“阿莹， 你很美啊！很美…不知道为什么，就觉得… 今天看你很美很美。”

Her eyes crinkled with delight and wonderment as she said so, the lines on her face folding gracefully. (: Throughout the whole sentence, she was just concentrating on my face with utmost sincerity.  Those words coming from a stern old lady took me by surprise. Though I did not react to her words my heart leapt not in the kind of joy that you might think it is but with love and respect for the lady before me.

I call her my “god-mother” because she was the one who changed my soiled diapers with no complaints, who said I made her family laugh when I was a baby on all fours, crawling around fervently around their house, who never forgot my birthdays and even gave me hongbaos for good luck if she knew i am going overseas… Perhaps at that moment, she saw me as a grown-up lady, ready to take on the world. In her eyes, I was no longer the baby who would be immersed in her acts of mischief, entertaining her with my silly gurgles.

I don’t think I can quite forget the look in her eyes.